‘Jill, are you seeing anyone right now?’ Jill’s expression fell. She looked down at the gravel below our feet. When she spoke, it was so quiet that I could barely make out the words. ‘I don’t have time right now for a relationship.’ My heart fell like her face did. I tried to reason out what she really meant. Was it me? She must have sensed my concern because she quickly explained. ‘My first love is the theater. I want this so badly I can taste it. If I could, I’d do this twenty-four seven.’ She paused and breathed in loudly. ‘I keep hoping to get discovered, to get a chance to go professional.’ I was looking at her. When she said the last sentence, she looked up at me, our eyes locked together. The emotion in her voice spoke of the love, the passion, the desire she held for acting. I could feel in my body what she must feel, the unfulfilled desire. I took her in my arms. ‘You’re good. You’re really good. The rest of us are just playing along. I’ve watched you. You can do this. You. I would start crying and shaking so bad that I would have to stop for a minute or two and sit down until it passed. I found the cane in the back corner of the closet. I knew that I couldn’t fit it in the bag but I figured I could just toss it into the dumpster. Katie had some clothes in there as well but there were no more of her toys. I went into the bathroom and gathered up the enema bags and tips. I went back to the playroom and was just about to start moving the stuff out to my vehicle when I looked at the bench. I knew that the straps had to go as well. I turned the bench on its side so I could see what I needed to get them off. I carried the one full bag up to the entranceway and went down in the basement where I knew she had a toolbox. I got a hammer, couple of screwdrivers and a pair of wire cutting pliers. After heading back to the playroom, I went to work and when the bench was done, I turned it back over and added the straps and screws to the bag. I took the wire cutting.
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